Dating for aspies

” you may get something as straightforward as “because I wanted to.” It isn’t a dodge. Not uncovering their “true motivations.” To love an Aspie well, try to figure out the quirks.

Once you do, you will have a pretty good idea what to expect.

But reasons like “I knew you hated me doing this, so I did it to teach you a lesson” is not going to be in it (unless they are mimicking). Why would they spend time out of their day to do THAT? They’d have to plan ahead, keep you and how you feel constantly in mind, and then want to spite you. One thing that gets a lot of AS’s in trouble with their loved ones is the need to be alone. If you want to get into a huge fight with an AS intimate, insist on interaction at this point. NT’s happily married to AS’s understand this need for quiet time, especially after socializing.

An AS is going to tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly, and will do it without malice, without sly intentions. And sometimes AS’s don’t understand that NT’s like to hear some truths over and over like “I love you.” Just tell them. Your AS will probably have no idea why it is necessary, but if it makes you happy, fine. This is a hotly debated topic in the comments section.

And if you can be direct, clear, and make a request, and not act out of spite or malice yourself, things will go a lot better.

If you ask “why” as in “What is the deep motivation behind your current behavior? ” might bring you a very idiosyncratic answer like “I took the long route because that shorter route has a line of red houses that are very distracting and unsettling for me to drive past.” Loving an AS is learning all the puzzle pieces that they’re composed of, and learning how to live with them.

Educational videos about flirting help the single AS recognize the signs.

Their bodies also can be over-stimulation with sexual arousal.

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