Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing – or not wearing. There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them.
No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men.
I enjoy making people uncomfortable so that conversation should be fun. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well – following an object of lust. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention.
We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Doesn’t matter where it is, there will come a time when I will see it. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being.
I dated one Chinese guy for two years, but it wasn’t meant to be.
Right now (October 2013) I’m living together with my Cantonese boyfriend and his parents.
Be ready for lot of work and mutual understanding and patience to have a successful relationship.
If necessary learn the local dialect in order to communicate with his family and relatives.
Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but most of the Chinese men out there date to marry They might start talking about it very early in the relationship in order to know if you have the same ideas about dating as he does.
Let’s be clear: a woman’s body is not dangerous to you. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.
A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious.
It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. The moment you objectify another human – woman or man, you give up your humanity. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. The moment you play the victim you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified, or being treated as other.